January can be such a blah time!

The days are dark and dreary. It’s cloudy and cold. 

We feel stuck in the stagnant daily tasks, and we crave cozy comfort.

We not only look forward to the warmth of upcoming days of sunshine but anticipate all that the months to come will bring.  The expectation of the next thing helps us get through the day-to-day doldrums.  

But what if we aren’t sure about…..

What’s next?

I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two kinds of people who are living through this.

Those who plot the upcoming events to gain some sense of satisfaction by scheduling daily, weekly and long-term happenings. Anticipating the next big event, the activity, the trip.  Then once the noteworthy moment is crossed off the calendar, it’ on to the next.

Then there are those who are consumed by all the next things because life is lived in the next thing.  School activities and ballgames, parties and projects, appointments and commitments, milestones and responsibilities. All added to the everyday routine tasks can make life a little or a lot overwhelming.  There isn’t much time to wait for the next thing, just survival.

I say all this because I’ve lived both. I love how a well-managed calendar comes together and gives the impression that I have my life together.  I don’t mind having “things to do”. I usually enjoy having important dates to look forward to.  A full life, right?

Last year, my first year as a ‘somewhat’ empty-nester, was filled with lots of ‘next’ big things…a retirement, a new job, a wedding, several vacations.  I was blessed more and more with each next thing.

But this year, as of right now, my calendar is void of the next big things I’ve always been used to.  And, I’ll admit …I’m a little restless.  

I stay busy; it’s just different.  In the back of my mind, I keep wondering, “What’s next?”

After years of the crazy, the plans, the schedules, I now have a calm balance with more freedom. And, even though I am aware of the slowing down, part of me still feels like I need to keep the crazy going to feel productive, to feel accomplished, to feel like me.

As I wrestle with this restlessness, I can’t help but to wonder if the answer to my question of “What’s next?” is NOTHING.  

What if God is trying to tell me it’s time to just live in the blessing of His peace for a while?

While I am asking what’s next, maybe God is saying, “Rest.”

While I am asking what I need to do, maybe God is saying, “Be still.”

While I am asking what I am missing, maybe God is saying, “Focus on My presence.”

Moments without all the stuff gives me more moments with Him. Moments to pray for loved ones who are fighting battles.  Moments to listen, to encourage, to love my neighbor.  Moments to write, to reflect, to spend more time in His word.  

I don’t have to live in a life of constant demands to be content.  I don’t have to live in the expectation of something big. I don’t have to live in the control and constraints of busyness.

This season of life might contain some unknowns, but I am working on trusting His plan for my life.  His timing. His peace. I know His ways are good. My faith lies in the blessings He has in store for me.

I don’t have to ask, “What’s next?”  God knows.  And, I am learning to be ok with that.

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him….” Psalm 37:7 (NIV)