I am so tired of COVID, of masks, of social distancing!  I am so sick of limited activities, canceled events, and the fear of socializing.  I am over all the hate, the blame, the animosity. 

We are not meant to live like this.   We are called to live and love like Jesus.  Seems like nothing about what is going on is about Jesus.

Or is it? 

Can we still see Jesus working in our lives, despite the sadness?  Can we still be the hands and feet of Jesus, despite the anger?  Can we show God’s love through our actions and our words, despite the fear? 

Absolutely!

Is it easy?  Absolutely not!

This year has caused a lot of heartache; I’m not going to lie.  I have to be careful because some days are just too hard.  Teaching this year is a lot.  Missing my dad is a daily struggle.  Fighting the fatigue of the day to day activities drains my soul.  

Yet, I am grateful each day for His blessings. 

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I would love to tell you that I put my trust in His ways. and I feel great.  Done.  But I can’t.  I do put my trust in Him.  But each day I start over. New challenges.  New fears. New frustrations. More exhaustion.

The less I feel, the more I pray.  I know God is blessing me with his goodness every day.  I’m afraid I’m so caught up in the busyness of my day’s responsibilities, that I don’t always appreciate the evidence of His goodness.  I get discouraged. I get upset. I don’t always feel like God’s got this.  I know He does and I will tell you He does, but if I am totally honest with you, I will tell you that I don’t always feel it.  So I pray.  And, pray some more.

When I am empty.  I pray for the Holy Spirit to fill me up.  Fill me with the Fruit of the Spirit.  Because if I am not careful, the negative of this world and the daily stress will take that place.  I have to be intentional about what I want to experience, things like the patience, kindness, joy, and peace.  So I pray.  And, I pray some more.

“Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.”.  1 Chronicles 16:11

My strength is in Him, not my own determination or diligence.  I keep trying everyday with the help of my Lord and Savior.  Some days are good.  Some days are not.  So I pray. And, I pray some more.

So if I keep God’s truth close and trust in His goodness, I can experience the peace and the love that he promises. I hope and pray that you, my friends, can experience this peace and love as well. So, I will continue to pray and pray some more, even if I am so over it!

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”- Romans 15:13