“No friendship is an accident.” — O. Henry

Thelma and Louise. Tully and Kate. Lucy and Ethel. Meredith and Cristina. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel.  Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and  Miranda. 

We are familiar with these fictitious female friendships, but what a joy when we actually get to experience special relationships like these through different stages of our lives. We are meant to live life with people; we are social beings.  And, if we are lucky, we get lifetime friends to laugh and cry with and for support during important parts of our lives.

I’ve read that middle children seem to form stronger bonds outside of their families.  They are not the oldest (attention) and they are not the youngest (attention), so they are not sure where they fit in.  I’m smack dab in the middle of five with the two youngest being twins, but I don’t think I ever consciously thought that I didn’t fit in. So, I’m not totally sold on that theory, but I will admit I am so grateful for the bonds I have with my friends, whatever the reasons may be!

Growing up a ‘country girl,’ I didn’t realize it at the time, but my sisters and cousins were my first friends.  We always had ‘someone’ to play with, to go somewhere with, to share secrets with.  But as I got older, I wanted real friends. Friends I could gossip with, friends who wouldn’t hit me or tell on me, friends who would understand no matter what, friends who would grow old with me.  And, God gave me some of the best!  

Like most of you, I grew wings in college, and made some really good friends and some not so good choices.  The only regret, though, would be that I did not keep in touch with the ones I watched Days of Our Lives with between classes, the ones who talked me into the questionable situations, the ones who ran through the snow with me on the night of the NCAA championship, or the ones who shared the same dreams as I did during those impressionable years.  Thankfully, though, some stuck with me.

Then, as I continued to grow my wings, I became the posterchild for “Always the Bridesmaid!”  I was in thirteen weddings during my young adult life, not counting the times I registered guests or served cake.  I stood up for thirteen of my friends on the day they said, “I do!” Thirteen, beautiful (at-that-moment) bridesmaid dresses.  What an honor.  I wish I could say I am still close with all them; at least Facebook helps me keep in touch.

Moving to a new city and literally knowing one person when I was fresh out of college gave me opportunities to make new friends.  As a young, naïve, first year teacher at an inner-city school, I had to learn to sink or swim.  I am grateful for the people I will always call friends who were my lifeboat during those first few years.  Now, thirty some years later, I am forever blessed by the educators I’ve worked with as well as the ones I connected with because of my educational career.  I could (and just might) write a book someday on our adventures!  Each one, you know who you are, has a story!  Some funny, some sad, some exciting, some heartfelt, but all make me smile.

When I married and started a family, I had no idea that through raising my daughters, I would find and desperately hang onto friends who would get me through some of the most challenging parts of being a mother.  Many of us differ in parenting styles and our children follow different paths, but at just the right moment, we were there for each other with support and encouragement: Me too, I’ve been there, it WILL be ok, how can I help, I’m sorry, let’s get a drink, so happy for you, I’ll pray for you, thank you.  The last twenty-some-years have been full of thousands of calls and texts, many late nights, countless parties, important dinners, lots of advice, school meetings, unforgettable trips and lots of love with the ladies of my village.

Now, as a ‘mature’ woman of fifty-something, I can say the mixture of my friends at this stage of life means everything to me.  The old adage that states, “We have three kinds of friends:  friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime,” is so true.  These friendships through the years have given me memories that serve a reason, memories that welcomed a season, and memories that have sustained a lifetime.

When I think about the reasons and the seasons, I thank God.  Each of the experiences and memories have helped shaped who I am.  Isn’t it amazing that God knows exactly what we need when we need it? 

I don’t have the words to express my feelings for my lifetime friends.  I can only hope they know how important they are to my being, my heart. 

Michael W. Smith said it well:

“And friends are friends forever
If the Lord’s the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
‘Cause the welcome will not end
Though it’s hard to let you go
In the Father’s hands we know
That a lifetime’s not too long
To live as friends”

(Friends, 1983)

Do you have friends like this?  I hope so!  Whatever stage of life you are in right now, know that the people in your life are not there by accident.  Cherish the moments.  Appreciate the people God puts in your path, and if you are lucky, you will have some to realize that a lifetime’s not too long to live as friends.