Since I’ve spent a pretty big chunk of my life in a classroom, I often get sucked into “what do I think about” conversations concerning kids.  I have so many stories about my escapades as a teacher.  And, honestly, I love sharing them! 

Most of them. 

Most of my memories include funny or teachable moments, the times the kiddos made me smile, made me feel loved and appreciated, the experiences that reassured me in thinking maybe I was doing something right.

But I also have memories that I don’t talk so much about…

For lots of reasons.

I know I am not alone.  As a teacher…as a parent…as an aunt…as a friend….trying to guide littles or teenagers…or even adult children… it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. 

It’s hard.

I don’t care who you are.  If you are in a position to influence a child-of any age, it’s hard.

Sure, there are great moments.  And, I hang tightly on those.  Because I am so grateful for them..as a teacher, a parent, a mentor, a friend.

But there were times when I had to correct behavior, not because I wanted to, but because I felt I needed to… as one who was responsible for teaching, for leading, for guiding. 

Even if it was hard. 

Sometimes it needs to hurt before a lesson can be learned.

I’ve used this explanation as a parent and as a teacher.  One of my favorite times sharing this was with a grandparent who was raising her grandchild, and I had to give a pretty stern consequence because the situation was pretty serious. She didn’t respond when I first explained the action we were taking as a result of the choice he made.  I could understand her disappointment and knew she was really trying to do what was best, but her silence made me think I might have a battle on my hands.  So, I tried to gently defend the decision for the discipline with that line.

Sometimes it needs to hurt before a lesson can be learned. 

To my surprise, she replied immediately with, “Can you make it hurt a little more?”

I didn’t get that type of response often.  Many times, as parents, as teachers, as caregivers, we want to take the easier way out.  We want to be liked, have peace, let it go.  It takes time to correct; it’s uncomfortable.  Conflict is never pleasant.  But I do believe, in the long run, it is worth it.  Sometimes we take it personally.  If we call attention to it, it might be that we have failed in some way.  We want to think we all are innately good and maybe it’s not a big deal.  This time.  But, in my experience, there is a next time.  And, a next.  Unless it hurts…a least a little. 

So, I’m sure there are many mean Mrs. James stories floating out there.  But I have hope that my students, and of course my own children, can see and understand what I was trying to do.  I was trying, as so many of us do, to hold them accountable, to teach responsibility, and to help them think about their actions instead of just reacting.  I also have hope that they could see Christ’s love and grace and mercy in me each day.  Because Lord knows, I made mistakes along the way!

After all, we are all just trying to do our best.  Aren’t we? 

I have so many thoughts about the stories I hear happening in our schools these days.  And, I know it’s hard… making it “hurt” gets harder and harder.  Sometimes we just have to pick our battles, but we need to make sure we are picking the right ones.  There is a good chance the right ones are the more difficult ones, the ones that might hurt. 

Friends, let’s not grow weary of doing what’s good, what’s right, and what’s true.

Pray for wisdom and strength when guiding those under your care in the way of the Lord.  The world is giving direction right into darkness these days, and when our loved ones, our children, our students, and even ourselves, are not rooted in the Word, it’s way too easy to fall for the enemy’s ways and the enemy’s lies.  We will never be sorry for following Jesus and obeying His commands … even if it needs to hurt a little.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Galatians 6:9-10 (NIV)