“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” 

This quote from Jim Rohn (motivational speaker and author) always makes me wonder. I think it could be more than five people, but I do believe who we spend time with influences our thoughts, our decisions, and our actions.

Who do you spend most of your time with? 

It’s probably some family.  Maybe friends?  Coworkers?

What about the quality of that time?  What are the fruits of the time spent with those people? Are you being encouraged and supported?  Or is the time filled with complaints, frustrations, or grumpiness. 

There have been seasons of my life where I felt like I was trapped in crankiness.  So much to do, toxic environments, unfair situations. Thinking I was trying to do the right things, but always ended up feeling wrong. 

Since I live in a world of several circles of people, I had a little bit of a lot of people.  But not a lot of anyone. When given a choice, I tended to gravitate towards people who were like me. There was comfort in knowing I was not the only one who entertained feelings of failure, shortcomings, resentment.  You know, misery loves company. 

I’m sure there were people who tried to lift me up, who did their best to inspire me, who temporarily soothed my weary soul. However, my time with them was limited, and many times I underestimated their words of encouragement and resorted to “they just don’t understand.”

Not only was my company of five (or more) that I chose to be surrounded by filled with complainers, but I was one of their people.  I fear that I was pouring negativity, despair, and aggravation in their lives as well. 

In casual conversation, I might’ve convinced others that my heart was full of joy and contentment.  But my people, they knew I was drowning! 

There were lots of inner feelings behind those outward smiles. I said a lot of things.  I made a lot of resolutions.  I told myself I had to change. I had to focus on things that were good.

But..

It wasn’t until I started spending time with Jesus that I began to see, to understand, to truly know the goodness that I am living in. 

The more I focus on Him, the more I pray, the more I experience and am aware of His blessings, the more I get to know Him, the more I want to be like Him.  The more I want others to see Him in me. 

I still complain. 

I become frustrated and irritated. I can easily get sucked into the brokenness of people and evils of this world. But I try not to live there.   

Trying my best to live and love like Jesus doesn’t mean that I am living in denial or in a life of fantasy. 

It means that I have freedom.

It means I am forgiven.

It means that I know I am a child of God and that I am loved.

It means that I know His plan for me is perfect.

It means that I can find peace in giving and receiving grace.

Just like we cultivate our relationships with the people we love, the people we want to know better, the people we choose to spend our time with, we have to do the same to strengthen our relationship with our Lord and Savior.  Especially if we intend for Him to shape who we are, influence our decisions, and affect our daily lives. If we want His will to work in and through us.

We cannot have a relationship with Him if we do not talk to Him. 

Pray incessantly.

Share our hearts with him.

Listen for His voice.

Ask for discernment and forgiveness.

Thank Him for blessings, mercy, and grace.

We cannot have a relationship with Him if we do not know Him.

Read His Word.

Study scripture.

Be a part of corporate worship and learn from sermons, devotions, and Bible studies.

I still live in a lot of circles and am always blessed by my relationships. And, what a blessing it is to have Jesus as a constant in so many of the lives I am intertwined with.  And, my hope is that I am bringing Him into the presence of those who don’t know Him and are not living in His love. 

So, as you are making your resolutions, choosing your word-of-the-year, deciding on plans to make 2024 your year, I want to encourage you to think about who you spend the most of your time with. And, if Jesus is not on that list, but you want Him to be, I’d love to help you get connected. 

“Come near to God and He will come near to you…”  James 4:8